Cop
Our realistically uniformed officer barges on to the scene ready to arrest the the recipient for fleeing the scene of a hit and run accident (or whatever egregious infraction you have in mind.) As the encounter continues, it becomes clear that there has been a gross misunderstanding, and in fact, the cop is here to apprehend the perp for “reckless aging” (for birthdays) or to present the recipient with an outstanding citizens award. After going through the standard arrest procedures, including handcuffing and presenting a special souvenir party hat and kazoo in front of the party "witnesses," the officer bursts into a song for the occasion. The cop also leads the crowd in a familiar tune to commemorate the occasion. He then reads your special message to the recipient, written on our keepsake telegram card.