Queen Of Telegramland
This imperial, bossy and anachronistic monarch wishes your recipient "Ze tres tres happy returns of ze day, mon cher!", praising the royal nature (or lack of) of the honoree, presenting gifts of a party hat and keepsake kazoo. She may teach good manners and etiquette or work in a quick French lesson and sing her lovely rendition of La Vie En Rose. With a deep regal curtsey, she presents your telegram message on our souvenir card. She leads the crowd in Happy Birthday or another appropriate song in her charming French accent.