Grandma
Come give this Jewish bubbe a hug! Look how big you’ve gotten! What? They don’t feed you? She just can’t believe her little boychick or madela is having another birthday… or was it some other occasion… it can get confusing! She’s so proud, it makes her verklempt! She just has to bust out into song, maybe “I Did it My Way” or her favorite jazzy rendition of “We are Family.” She’ll give your recipient a keepsake party hat and kazoo, and read your personal message aloud on a souvenir telegram card. But beware, if she sees someone not singing along to “Happy Birthday,” she’s been known to fix that with a potch on the punim.